feed the fish
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
It has become a daily routine at Nimmu's house at 8'O clock every morning. Nimmu is a small cute girl aged about 6 years. The morning begins to her with her mother calling out to her to get up some ten to 15 times, and slowly the call turns to an angry tone and then followed by one or two slaps after which the child gets up wailing. It continues for quite some time till the next order is placed to the child, to brush her teeth, the child reluctant to open her mouth. the mother giving her another slap and then the girl wailing. It continues till she completes each task and ends when the van picks her up for school. Every evening, the girl does something to irritate her mother and again the same thing continues. Iam writing this with great pain as it hurts to see a child getting slapped by her mother. The family consists of the mother, father and his mother apart from the Nimmu. The father appears to be irresponsible as he doesn't seem to go to any constructive job. He keeps wasting time watching TV or peering at the other's houses, sometimes scolding his mother and other times the girl. Occasionally he plays with Nimmu. His mother is a good lady who asks her daughter in law not to hurt the child, but does not play a major role in entertaining the child. Nimmu's mother I suppose has to work much against her wishes because the father is irresponsible. She has to get the child ready to school before she leaves for her job, Evening she has to take care of the household work and the girl's homework and things like that.
I tried to figure out what should be wrong. Actually the child should be the apple of their eyes. She is a charming girl pretty intelligent and smiling. The mother would still like to love her. But the irresponsible attitude of the father, who just gets out of the house for his morning stroll when
the mother manages to cook and get the girl ready irritates her and she reflects it on the child. If he spends at least ten minutes beside the girl talking to her and waking her up, the mother can feed her and get her ready. If the mother in law helps her by feeding the girl or combing her hair, the mother will get ready herself to go to her office. Further, the father can also understand that the wife who is working may have to face many problems outside the house. Hence he can sit with her for some time and talk to her and comfort her.
Just imagine the world of the girl. Her morning comes with lot of thrashing and scoldings from all quarters. She is not inclined to wake up as she has to face the ordeal once again. Hence she is
reluctant to get up. At school, her mind will wander around what happened at home and she may not concentrate. As a result her grades may come down, which means further scolding and thrashing. If for a change, a soft music is played by her bedside, in the morning, half an hour earlier, (preferably the one she loves to hear) she may like to wake up. The mother can take a day off and wake the child not with the words time is up, get up, but just to cuddle and kiss the child, the child may feel happier to get up. If each and evey act like brushing the teeth, taking a bath is associated with pleasant memories of the mother and the child, the child will long for such moments. Then there will be no reluctance on the part of the child to get up or do her daily chores.
Yesterday, she had just run out of her mother's hands on the road when she saw her friend going to some shop. The mother got wild and shouted at her. Nimmu fearing that the mother will thrash her, came home running and locked the kitchen door from inside. She did not know how to open it
The mother who was full of rage shouted at her to open the door. After a long trial, the girl finally opened the door, just to find her mother ready to give her a good thrashing. The beating and wailing went on for quite some time, much to our horror, as we could not to anything to prevent it.
Had the mother tried to control her anger for a moment, and sat the girl beside her and advised her, the girl would have probably been surprised at the mother's change in attitude, and this could have helped her in changing her attitude as well.
Children are gifts of god, they are our solace, our comfort, our strength and our cheer leaders.
Spend time with them to make it more memorable positively than to force them to forget their miserable childhood. Such children with a miserable childhood, may become alcoholic, drug addicts or fall into wrong hands. They may go into depression, score poorly in the exams
and find it difficult to move in the society. They may even turn to be voilent individuals.
Use positive strokes rather than negative remarks to motivate a child. They teach us a lot more than what we teach them. Learn from them.
My children used to remind me to sing a song or narrate a verse which i used to do when combing their hair or giving them a bath. In the morning they expect me to wake them up as i used to tell them something interesting to make them get up from sleep. Small splashing of water or playing with soap while giving them a bath will encourage them to have bath.
Always wake up a child in a pleasant manner as the whole day for both of you is dependent upon
Always put them to sleep with a pleasant gesture as that will give them a good night's sleep and make them look forward to a fresh morning.
Happy growing with the child!
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